Children experience the affects of stress as do adults. But, their reactions can be very different from adults. Many parents do not recognize the signs of stress in their children. Often in young children, stress is reflected in behavior and it can be hard to tell whether a child is misbehaving or reacting to some 'stressor' that a parent may not even be aware of.
Since it can difficult for some adults to articulate how stress affects their well-being, it is important to gain some insight into children and stress.
Some of the symptoms to watch for are:
Headaches
Feeling dizzy
Feeling flushed and hot
Loss of appetite
Having a dry mouth
Clenching teeth
Tense muscles in the neck, shoulders
Stomach ache
Excess energy, fidgety, short attention span
Racing heart
Cold hands and/or feet
Misbehavior that is new
Regression to thumb sucking or bed wetting
Along with symptoms of stress it is a good idea to understand the kinds of events that can be stressful for children. Basically, stress can be defined as change. Change in the environment or in a situation. One of the problems with children, is that parents may not realize that something is stressful to the child because it does not seem to be to be stressful to them. A child's world is as important to them as it is to an adult. And, because a child has no control over the choices the adults make, parents need to be especially aware of the impact their choices have on their children.
The stress response is related to the "flight or fight" response that keep us safe from the attack of a saber tooth tiger. The body is programmed to be able to react quickly to keep us out of harm's way. Now, there are not very many saber tooth tigers to run away from, but other threats of the modern world can trigger the body to react as if it is in mortal danger. Learning how to deal with these responses are critical to survival in this day and age.
Most threats are not life threatening but the body feels like it. Some things that may trigger that response are:
Going against your better judgement
A new school where you have to make new friends
Fighting parents
Divorce
Moving to a new home
Death in the family
Arrival of a new sibling
Not being good at something
Difficulty doing well in school
Feeling overwhelmed with expectations from teachers and parents
Failing a test
Being unhappy with your body
There is a lot of information about how to deal with stress and sometimes it can be hard to decide what is the best approach. Some stress parents and children experience can be alleviated by learning better parenting techniques and strategies.
One simple way to help deal with stress was developed by Charles Stroebel, M.D., Ph.D. who was well-known in the area of biofeedback and self-regulation. He personally found it hard to be still for the time it took for mediation to be helpful. So he created a way for Type A personalities to be able to relax and reduce stress in just a few seconds. This technique is call the QR or Quieting Response. When practiced, it can calm you down in 6 seconds.
Now children can benefit from the quieting response. Kiddie QR has been developed by Elizabeth Strobel, PhD (University of London). It was designed for children ages 3 plus through 9.
Phyllis Grannis is co-owner of LifeMatters.com. Find support for stress management in children with Kiddie QR: A Stress Management System for Children and for adults. It's also your source for parenting help and online parenting classes.